What can be possible if I
a) let go of all the strategies and behaviors I’ve put on to achieve closeness
b) let go of all the things I do to avoid criticism or alienation
How much love can I experience then? Who will I become?
If I don’t start to show up as I am, despite the fear of what others may think, I will never be able to receive what I most long for in life. Unconditional love.
I can see that now.
It can seem contradictory, but the more I have adapted to others and run myself over because of it, the less I have felt loved.
It has felt like all the affirmations I’ve received is because of the diminution acts I’ve done. The tampering with myself. The sacrifices I’ve made.
Who will I become when I let go of these strategies? Behaviors that only has acted as a flat coulisse, painted to seem three dimensional instead of being just that.
That is a frightening question. What if there is nothing there behind the backdrop.
But I’ll tell you how it feels.
First, there is emptiness.
Then I see it. Freedom. And the possibilities.
I sense curiosity and lust, as in a child.
I notice that the moment I let go of my own limiting beliefs and open up to the fact of me not knowing, I set the people around me free.
What I feel now is a great feeling. Love.